What It’s Like To Be 30+ And Not Have Your Sh*t Together

Dress, Boohoo (available here). Hat, Accessorize (available here). Bag, Zara (available here). Boots, Pull & Bear.

I turned 31 on the 31st of October. As I’ve done for the past two (or more?) years I wanted to ‘record’ my outfit, and as usual planned to ask my friends to take some pictures of me. After having afternoon tea, we stepped out on the street and my friend managed to take one picture (above) of me before my camera’s battery ran out. I guess I shouldn’t have taken so many pictures of my afternoon tea – and I should definitely have been carrying an extra battery in my bag.

First world problems, I know, but in this Insta-driven society it’s one small example of how I’m failing at adulting. I wish it were the only example, but unfortunately it’s a pretty long list of stuff that actually matters. I recently hinted at the fact that there had been a significant life change that had essentially turned my life upside down – I’m not ready to stop with the hints, because in all honesty I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever wish to write about on the internet. This little corner of mine has never really been much of a personal blog – I love talking about my relationship with fashion and do genuinely feel like this somehow reveals a lot about my personality, but writing about direct personal experiences is a whole other level that as of yet isn’t for me (and really, I’m just not that interesting).

Having said that, it doesn’t feel quite right to just go on about what I wore on my Birthday (plus I essentially only have one picture ¬†of my choice of birthday outfit). Because at the moment, things are tough, and escaping into the dreamy world of fashion isn’t quite enough. So I just wanted to say that hey, I’m in that often dreaded 30 plus group and don’t have my sh*t together.

I know, I know, it’s a tragedy of epic proportions. If you happen to be my age, a little younger or even a decade younger and do have your sh*t together, go you. Enjoy it. Shout it over the rooftops. I was kind of there, and now I’m not. I’m totally #failingatadulting – and shock horror, that is OK.

You see, this has become a highly aspirational society. Well, it probably always has been in one way or another, but 15 years ago social media wasn’t a thing. In fact a lot of things that we now take for granted weren’t a thing, such as low-cost flights, online shopping or swanky mobile phones. So now we share – and we share a lot. Our latest buys, our latest travels, our latest achievements. For better or for worse, the majority of us take a part in this.

And I cannot help but feel that this at times oversharing contributes to many of us feeling super aspirational, if not pretty sh*t every now and again for not being in the Bahamas when it’s December, not having a Gucci Marmont in three different finishes, not being able to show off a fancy engagement ring or hey, even an echogram. Social media can be your worst best friend – you can’t live without it but boy does it know how to ruin your day.

But like I said, at this point in my life I don’t have my sh*t together, and yes, that is OK. Why? Because it’s not all bad. And that is the one thing you must remember when you’re going through a hard time. As more than one person has reminded me over the past few days, what I have achieved is not necessarily what defines me. I am in good health, my financial situation could be so much worse than it is, and I’ve got some amazing people in my life who I love with all my heart, and who for some crazy reason seem to care about me!

I considered writing a post along the lines of ’31 things about being 31′ or ’31 things you should do by the time you’re 31′, but I really felt like I had to acknowledge my current state of mind – and who the hell am I to say what you should do by the time you’re 31? Turning 30/31 (or any supposedly significant milestone) and not having ticked certain boxes imposed by society as well as ourselves is not a ticking time bomb, it is not the be all and end all, nor does it mean you are a failure because you haven’t done something by a specific timeframe.

Things aren’t easy at the moment, but they’re not all bad. And I will make them better, reminding myself that it’s not the end of the world to not have my life completely sorted out yet. Because I’ve hopefully got a long life ahead of me, and some more time to keep figuring things out.

P.S.: Shoutout to my loved ones who make everything so much more bearable – especially when I get presents like the roses, cupcake and notebooks pictured above. Because who wouldn’t want to have more issues than Vogue, right?

Outfit picture taken on October 31st, 2017.



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